Wednesday, March 16, 2011

'Loose Girl' Doesn't Mean Whore!

'For everyone who was that girl.
For everyone who knew that girl.
For everyone who wondered who that girl was.' (
http://www.powells.com/biblio/9781401303495)

I found this quote in the publishers comments about the book 'Loose Girl'. If you knew that 'girl' you most likely thought she was a whore. If you wounder who that 'girl' was you didn't understand her. If you were that girl you knew what it felt like to be SO addicted to mens attention, not the sex but the feeling of being wanted and loved. To actually feel as if for even for a brief moment you were loved. For some of the 'broken toys', like me, you just want to feel the nice soft tender touch of a man. Something that wont scar you again, for life. 

(Most people who are sexually assaulted go one of two ways. They either close themselves up so they can't be hurt or wont be judged or the are overly sexual and crave the opposite sex attention. And most blame their-selves. I did for a while then came to realization that is was the sick twisted persons fault not mine!)

I knew a few girls that where that 'girl' but unlike most third party person viewers looking in it looked bad like that girl didn't know her self worth. Well, I'm here to say I was that 'girl' and like in the book I had friends that looked at me as if I was a whore. Then I found some that were like me. 

'Loose Girl: A Memoir of Promiscuity' made me reflect on the choices I've made and the circumstances that drew me to make said choices. I'm not pretending to by a Saint or by any means want to kid myself and buy a white wedding dress. My friends that were 'virgins' didn't understand why I loved and craved  mens attention. I didn't like the little boys at my school so I out sourced and thank God I did! I saw so many girls reputations ruined because boys loved to brag. I didn't want that for myself so I kept my personal life out of school but my virgin friend knew all.(You know who you are.) Thankfully, she kept it under wraps.(Thanks JK).

I wasn't so lucky when I got out though I didn't lead a double life anymore one where in school I was a A and B student that was a good girl and outside of that the women that would try and find guys. So, again I out sourced. This time to another state. I went on many wonderful first dates. Without fail each time they wouldn't call the next day. It ate at me I was trying to figure out what I was doing wrong I was to the cool games hot chick. So, after much thought I figured it out I wasn't giving myself up to them. Is that what men wanted? Sex thats it? I tried it a few time to let go and give it to them in hopes of keeping them as a boyfriend. IT DIDN'T WORK!

With this plan they would call back and want more but thats all they wanted. It became so bad at one point one of these boys dropped me and married his pregnant girlfriend. Which I DID NOT know he had. He kept me as a friend just so he could have me 'entertain' buddies of his. Me being the smart girl that I am I caught on the first night. Each buddy of his that I hung out with I would give this warning-"I WILL not sleep with you tonight. I want to see if it will turn into something more then a one night stand. And we will tell LCpl JD that we had the most wild and rough sex ever.' It worked I found great guy friends this way and one night I even found my fiancée while he was still in the Marines.(I miss his ass in cammies it was hot!)


I would recommended this book to everyone! It just might give you a different view on 'that girl'. For some of its readers it might drum up unwanted memories but could help them deal with circumstances that were thrown upon them. Her story sometime run through a gambit of emotions. She has away to make you, either for the first time or again, feel the longing, desperation and the stress of uncertainty. In the end she gives it a kind of good feeling. She over came what plagued her in youth to become a successful woman she is today.


P.S. I did have a few relationships but none lasted more then 11 months. Till Cpl we are going on two years in July!

3 comments:

  1. I was "that girl" once but not until well after high school. And it wasn't low self esteem it was purely for sexual reasons- I was hypersexual from the bipolar and one night stands were exciting and addicting to me. But I understand the low self esteem that comes with feeling like a "whore" afterwards. I always pulled a ninja on them so that I wouldn't have to deal with the awkward "when are you going to leave my apartment" moment the next day, and I hated that I had no one to cuddle with or even call when I needed a boyfriend moment.

    Sounds like a good book. If I was still in that place I would really read it. Thanks for sharing.

    I found you on 20sb. Looking forward to future posts. :)

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  2. I love the ninja thing good idea! And thank you very much I wasn't sure if I was doing a great job at blogging seeing as I've been doing it for like 4 days now! Your comment helped me!

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  3. U R Still a whooooorrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee..........BBBAHAHAHA
    I kid... I kids Love you...whore

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